Things I've learned from autistic kids

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This is my last post for Autism Awareness month.  I wrote 3 posts the first week and nothing else until today.  I think y'all are pretty aware of autism.  And most of y'all are pretty accepting of autism as well.

I love hanging out with autistic kids.  Most of the AU kids I've been around are super cool and I've learned a lot from them.

1. Look at things differently - many of autistic kids I know see things in a whole different way.  It's cool to see things from their perspective. 

2. All behavior is communication - very rarely does any kid 'misbehave' or do something out of their ordinary for no reason.  They are always trying to tell you something.  They maybe hitting to try to get your attention or because they need more sensory input.  They may be throwing things because the noise it makes it too much for them.  They might be yelling and shoving in the hallway because it's physically painful for them to be around so many other people. 

3. Small things can make a big difference - offer a kid a chewer and they'll stop biting people.  Get some headphones and some kids can handle big crowds better. 

4. You don't have to talk to communicate - looks and gestures can tell a deep and loving story.

5. If you're clothes don't feel good, you can wear something else - this is a big philosophy I've adopted.  I now shop with my hands more than my eyes.  If it isn't soft and comfy, I'm not spending my money. 

If you have autistic kids in your life, I'd love to know what they've taught you!

Goals

Everyone has goals.

Even if your goal is to make it through the day, that's awesome.  Wake up and set the same goal again tomorrow and the day after that.  A person without goals is like taking a trip without a GPS - you'll get somewhere but it might not be where you imagined.

I've shared lots of my goals with you on this blog

• be a good wife, mom, follower of Christ
• write
• speak
• grow our Valuable Special Needs ministry
• help teachers be better
• have a great library that encourages kids to love to read

With our boys, we always have them set goals.  We don't tell them they must have a certain grade.  We ask them to set a goal for their grades.  If we think they've lowballed it, we have that discussion.

Once they set goals, we are all in to help them achieve those goals.  When they don't want to do the work required to reach the goal, we ask "Is this still your goal?" If it's not, we change direction.  If it is, they get back to work.  Of course, academic goals aren't optional.

Ryan and I are grown ups (usually).  It's our job to know more that our boys (usually).  It's not fair to let them work towards their goals on their own.  We know things they don't know. We have resources they don't have.  Our brains are more mature and we are able to see more long term (usually).  When they want to give up, it's our job to encourage them and help them see the bigger picture.  We know what things are in their control and the things that are not.  It's our job to help them focus on the things they can control and pray about the rest.

I'll be honest with y'all.  We have received our fair share of criticism for the way we help our boys.  I'm sure people talk behind our backs, too.  But God gave them to us, we're responsible for them. It's our job to grow good grown ups.  I'm pretty proud of how it's going so far.

Spring Slump

Lots and lots of people talk about having Spring Fever - the need to get outside and get active.  They've felt cooped up all winter and are anxious to get outdoors.  They want to fly kids, swing on swings, and do all kinds of people with three active kids don't get to do in this season of life. 

I get Spring Fever occasionally.  I'm not too outdoorsy so I don't generally get urges to go hiking or running or stuff like that.  But I like to open my sunroof when the weather gets nice.  And I like to read on the porch, until the Cottonwood of death trees start blooming. 

I'd say I get Spring Slump more than I get Spring Fever. 

Spring Slump is characterized by the overwhelming need for a nap.  In my case, it is brought on by a host of factors - all good, I might add.  Factors like work, track meets, baseball practices, baseball games, reading, writing, and all the other momma duties. 

Basically, Spring Slump is a reaction to scheduling. 

Here's a typical schedule that can lead to Spring Slump

Monday - track meet until 10:30 pm
Tuesday - baseball game at 6 pm
Wednesday - baseball practice
Thursday - baseball game again...
Friday - collapse at 5 pm
Saturday - 2 baseball tournament games
Sunday - church; then baseball tournament games until they lose

Symptoms of Spring Slump include...

• not being able to keep your eyes open
• not being phased by 28 ounces of cofee
• planning hair styles around not washing your hair another day because standing up to dry it is too much

Relief can by gained by napping, ignoring housework and easy dinners. 

A cure is only possible when baseball is over or summer break begins, whichever comes first. 

So hang in there, mommas! Be kind to one another.  We can survive the Spring Slump!

Thank you, Dav Pilkey

My house is littered with paper. B-man is constantly drawing.  I keep buying notebooks for his drawings.  He keeps using loose pieces of computer and manilla paper.  Then leaving them on the floor.  I might have gotten him to embrace the notebooks when I told him I wanted to keep his drawings so we'd have them when he's a famous artist.

Lately, he's been creating super heroes.  He draws super heroes he already knows.  He creates others.  He makes himself and his friends into super heroes.  He wrote a letter to Stan Lee and including some of his drawings.  He even asked a comicbook store owner if the store like to buy the comics he's drawn.

A few weeks ago, I noticed Dav Pilkey's About the Author page.  Dav Pilkey is the author of the wildly popular Captain Underpants series of books.  B's a big fan of his new series Dog Man.

When I showed it to B he said "That sounds like me!" It made my heart so full.

To be clear, no one has ripped up B's drawings.  No one makes him sit out in the hallways, either.  B is surrounded by kids who get him and accept him, for the most part.  But his drawings and handwriting can be hard to read and understand.

I'm not sure B feels like many people are like him.  I don't think it bothers him right now.  But it will eventually.  And he will have these books to look back on and remember how Dav Pilkey made him feel a kinship.

Dav Pilkey's honesty and transparency is so refreshing.  I can not imagine how many kids he's inspired with his revelation! I know one for sure. And my momma-librarian-writer's heart is so happy that my boy can see himself in someone who creates something he loves!