Done

Some projects are easy to finish.  You get to the end and you walk away.  Others linger.

You can't find just the right word to finish the post.   Or maybe you think the the answer will come to you if you just wait.  The worst is when you think you're finished but things just keep popping up.  

The first two things don't bother me too much.  I enjoy finding the right words.  Sometimes a post will stay in the drafts folder for a weeks, waiting for just the right words.  

As for waiting for the right answer or solution, it's a speciality of mine.  I'm a thinker.  I'm a percolator.  Ya know, like an old fashion coffee maker.  I like to let ideas drip in my brain for a while.  That's how I've come up with some of favorite ideas.  

It's that last one that drives me crazy.  When you think you're done with something but it keeps popping up, wanting more attention.  "You forgot to do this"  "You should change this" "Pay more attention to me" So frustrating when you thought something was finished, when you thought you could walk away.  

What can you do when something you thought was finished, something you want to be done with, keeps begging for attention?

First, think about who is making the request.  Some requests from bosses or supervisors can't be ignored.  You have to submit to their authority.  Some requestors are haters.  They don't want what's best for you or your project.  Ignore them. 

Next, evaluate the request.  Is there value the changes that are being requested?  If not, don't make them. Don't let your pride take over here. Try not to fall into the trap of the messenger.  Maybe you don't like how the message was delivered or you don't like the messenger. That doesn't mean that their feedback isn't valid.  If the changes suggested are going to make things better, take them. 

Finally, if you decide to make changes, make them and be done.  Don't linger.  If you're upset about having to make changes, don't let your anger get in the way to making the changes.   Easier said than done, right?  But, seriously, being mad wouldn't finish this thing off.  

Remember, most things last only for a season.  The season may be long or short.  But you'll finish and be able to walk away.  Hang in there!

Be Bold

I'm a font nerd so I love this shirt...

from Etsy https://goo.gl/QUwzBj

Way back in 2011, I wrote about being brave.  Is being brave and being bold similar?  I think so, you have to have a certain amount of bravery to be bold.  But they are both deeply related to being secure.  When you are secure in yourself, you tend to be braver and more bold (based on my experience and absolutely no research.  Well, maybe there's research some where about that but I didn't research it).

I don't always feel secure in myself.  I know who I am. I know whose I am.  I know my purpose.  I know my gifts.  I know most of my weaknesses.  You'd think that would make me feel secure.  Not always.  I still worry if I'm doing the right thing.  Or wearing the right thing.  Or unintentionally hurting people's feelings.  Or if I'm 'good enough' at the things I'm good at - whatever that means.

As you might image, that makes it a little difficult to be bold.  I think a lot of things I don't say. That can be a good thing but I also miss opportunities to bless others because I'm not bold.

photo by Kaycey Bruhn

A few weeks ago at Zac's World Series baseball tournament, I heard of an awesome example of boldness.  One of my good friends has a son Zac's age on another team.  After a game that they won, the other team, the losing team, asked if they could pray together.  The losing team prayed for the winning team as they moved forward in the tournament.  Man! That is so bold.  Imagine looking past your hurt and disappointment over losing to pray for the team that just beat you.  And not just pray for them but to approach the team and pray with them.  Wow!

photo by Kaycey Bruhn

That act of obedience and boldness had a ripple effect. When my friend's son's team lost, they went to the team that beat them and asked to pray with them.  Isn't that awesome?

That's what boldness can do.  Boldness inspires others.  When we speaking loving truth to someone, they are emboldened to encourage someone else.

How will you be bold? Look for opportunities to be bold today!

Screwing Up

We all screw up.  I personally mess up several hundred times a day.  My husband is a wonderful man.  He has a great many strengths. One of the things that I'm most proud of is how he handles himself when he's wrong, especially when he's coaching.

Ryan is a baseball guy.  He played college baseball.  He's competitive.  He wants the best from each of the kids.

We just finished up baseball season with a World Series tournament.  There are about a hundred and eleven World Series tournaments so it really isn't a World Series.  It's just a really big baseball tournament.  Ryan is the head coach for Zac's age group.
 
He's not great at crisis management.  He sometimes flies off the handle.  He gets caught up in the heat of the moment.  This usually only lasts a few minutes.  Maybe an hour.  He's quick to realize that he's done something wrong.  And he handles it quickly.  What does he do?

He humbles himself and seeks reconciliation.  He goes to that person and asks for forgiveness.  He might try to explain why he did what he did.  Or he might just say "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that".

With the baseball team, he will sometimes talk to the team about it after the game.  "I did this. It wasn't right.  I've asked player name for forgiveness. I'm sorry."

Before our last game in the World Series we found out that we would have to forfeit the rest of our games.  We had a player get hurt so Ryan added a new player for the tournament.  The whole process is computerized so Ryan thought if the system let him add the player he was good to go.  Not so much.  A team challenged and the tournament director told him the system shouldn't have let him add the player.

Ryan talked to the team about it. He apologized to the team, the specific player and the parents.  Then he went to the other team's coaches.  He explained what had happened.  He apologized for not knowing the rules more throughly.  He wanted to protect the player and our team's reputation.  He wanted the other team's coaches know that he wasn't trying to cheat.

I have never been so proud of him.

When Autism Punched Me in the Face, quite literally

Gymnastics didn't go so well last week.  I knew B-man was out of sorts all day.  I tried to protect him from himself but he wasn't having it.

He loves to be around friends.  The trouble is that he's not always able to handle the interaction.  He gets overloaded.  I wanted him to stay home that day and rest.  He wasn't having it.

He and his friend had a confrontation and he came home upset.  He laid down.  Finally! When it was time to get ready for gymnastics I went to check on him, thinking he'd be asleep.  No such luck.  And he wanted to go to gymnastics.  I agreed.

He actually did pretty well for most of the time.  I think he was 45 minutes in when he lost it.  He stormed over to the parent's area, crying.  He crawled into my lap.  I tried to comfort him, soothe him.  He was too upset.  When he gets that way, my words are not helpful.  I try not to talk, I just hold him tight and rock him.  He wasn't having it.

He cried.  He screamed.  He punched me in the face.  I worked to restrain him, pull him tight.  Give him some deep pressure sensory input.

He jumped out of my lap.  He screamed "I'm leaving!" He stormed off. He knocked down a chair.  I caught up with him.  I made him pick up the overturned chair.  We went outside.  This particular meltdown lasted about 15 or 20 minutes.  It felt like 3 hours to me.  I can't imagine how long it felt to B-man.

Despite days like this, I still believe that AUTISM IS NOT A TRAGEDY.

How could it be?  Have you seen my little man?  He's so au-some.  I love his mind.  I love him.

I'll take the rough days because it gives me days like theses...

B: Momma, I like verbal irony
Me: Oh, yeah, what is verbal irony?
B: it's when you say the opposite of what you mean. Like when you say it's a beautiful day but it's dark and gloomy outside.

Or when he tells me Calvin Coolidge had a pet hippopotamus and Herbert Hoover had a pet alligator. I have not fact checked those but I believe it.

When he asks the nurse practitioner: So, what bacteria has caused my ear infection?
NP: ummm...usually staph or strep
B: I'm glad to hear it's not MRSA.  Because you know MRSA and antibiotics (makes URGH face)
Me: Are you trying to say that MRSA doesn't respond to antibiotics?
B: sadly, yes.