Saturday, September 28, 2013


How do you mend a broken heart?

No, really. I need to know.

Currently, there are 3 situations in my life that have left me heartbroken this week.  Two of them I have 0.0% control over so I pray for those involved.  I pray a lot!

But one I am intimately involved in and I just don't know what to do about it.

Today Brennan told us "God didn't make me right.  I can't act like everyone else." See? Heartbreak.

I think he's been thinking about this most of the week.  On Wednesday he asked me "Why did God make us?"  I told him God made us to worship him, to love him and to show his love to others.  That's our big family rule: Show God's Love.

You see, Brennan's had a rough week at school.  He's become physical with friends and teachers.  And while the grown ups around him work together to find solutions, he's doubting his worth.  At 5 years old.  Heartbreaking.

I don't know where this has come from.  I do not believe for one second that any adult in his life has said this to him.  I know and love his caregivers at school.  They care deeply for him.

But he is broken somehow.  He thinks his differences are wrong. And that's not OK with me.  But I don't know how to fix it.

Honestly, I haven't gotten over the pain of it to look for solutions.  I haven't discussed it with my usual support system.  Ryan and I haven't discussed it.  I don't know that I can yet.  I'm crying just typing this.

So, this is real life with an autistic son.  One who is smart as a whip. And cute.  And funny.  Who makes everyone fall in love with him.  Who is made in God's own image and paid for by the blood of Christ.  Who doesn't believe it yet.

But I do.  And Ryan does.  And his brothers do.  His grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins do.  Team Monkey does.

And through this pain, God will show us how to show him.

Monday, September 9, 2013


Authenticity is very important to me. I strive to be an authentic person.  I want authentic friends.  I like 'warts and all' people.  Here's a little story about me...

Long time ago in a land far away with only two boys, I ran a website called Organized Momma.  I love sit.  It was a lot of fun.  I even wrote all the HTML myself (I'll pause here for your oohs and ahhs).  I had a lot of help from my good friend Mike Colville (a pretty authentic person himself) to get it set up.  I really enjoyed it.  I sent out a weekly newsletter to about 250 ladies each Monday afternoon.  I had 5 tips, a recipe and sometimes a product in each newsletter.

Enter my little monkey.  Who shot the wheels off everything. We would show up places with no diaper bag or no shoes.  Brennan has had more shoes that he wouldn't wear than most 3rd world countries.  But I digress...I no longer felt organized.  I was missing newsletters.  I finally decided to shut down Organized Momma.  I sent an email to my ladies and explained the situation.  I received many emails encouraging me to fight through it.  "You'll get organized again" But I couldn't do it.  I felt like I would be lying.  I would not be authentic.

During my time as Organized Momma, I signed up for Twitter.  When I stopped being @OrganizedMomma I stopped tweeting. Jump forward a couple of years...I came up with a book idea. I wanted to start writing again.  And somehow ended up back on Twitter connecting with writers.

One of the first of which was Myra McEntire.  Myra had an agent and was working on her first book.  I still how exciting it was to read her announcement about that first book.  Myra and I connected almost immediately.  She was so open and helpful.  I specifically remember her reaching out to me after I tweeted something about Ryan losing his job and money being tight.  She sent my her email address and helped me calm down.

Myra is funny.  Myra wears Chucks.  Myra knows baseball.  Myra is an amazing writer.  Myra is authentic.  I appreciate her. I like her.

Jump forward a few more years and three books later (Myra's, not mine). This past Thursday Myra and 3 other authors were speaking and signing books at Barnes and Noble in Frisco.  I was beyond thrilled to get to go.  My momma kept Brennan and the big boys had football practice.  I got there an hour early.  I bought all 3 of Myra's books (My first copy of Hourglass was lent out and never returned) HOURGLASS, TIMEPIECE, and INFINITYGLASS. I ate dinner and milled around Brighton before returning to B&N.

Myra and Tessa  
Myra being funny
 I was familiar with Tessa Gratton but not the other 2 authors.  I enjoyed hearing them all speak, though.  I really loved it when an member asked "What do you when self doubt sneaks in?"  I'm not sure that was an exact quote but that was the gist.  Myra said "I know that God's plan for me is good."

When it was time to line up for autographs, I was a little nervous.  How do you start a conversation with someone you only know on Twitter?  My nervousness was added to social awkwardness (one of my specialities) because Myra was at the end of the line and I didn't have books for the other authors to sign.

So, I put my books down in front of Myra and awkwardly say "Hi. I'm Aimee Bartis" Myra jumps up and gives me a big ol southern greeting hug.  She says "I was looking for short hair"  Anyway, I wouldn't bore you with the rest of the conversation.  Suffice it to say that it was like reuniting with an old friend.

Myra and I
I am thankful for Myra's authenticity.  I strive to be authentic.

You can follow Myra on Twitter here.
Here website is here
You can get her books from B&N here.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Nearly perfect

I used to be a perfectionist. Sometimes I still am. But God gave me these 3 little men to mold and shape and perfectionist went out the door. 

I certainly don't want to strap them with my perfectionist ways. I do want them to do their best. I want them to be creative, secure and loving. 

As I sit here on this rainy holiday morning drinking coffee and reading, I am reminded that God has blessed me with a family that's nearly perfect. 

We're not nearly perfect because of our short comings or a diagnosis or a million other reasons. We're nearly perfect because we're in process. God is molding us into his perfect image.  

And I am proud to be nearly perfect. 

Monkey came in and screamed "behold!" And somehow inspired this quick post.