Marshawn Lynch

It's widely known/reported that Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch has social anxiety.  He would prefer to do his job and be left alone.  At yesterday's Super Bowl media day he met for the allotted amount of time and replied with "I'm here so I don't get fined." 21 times.  

In the old days (approximately 6 years ago), I would have said "Suck it up buttercup.  There are parts of everyone's job that they don't like doing.  You get paid very well for your work.  Talk when people want you to talk."  Then I learned a few things.  God provided a wonderful teacher to me, his name is Brennan Bartis.

I've learned that somethings are not just non-preferred, they are painful.  

I've learned that people can grow more with boundaries, space and love than with restrictions and hard-and-fast rules. 

I've learned that repeating the same phrase over and over can be comfortable when everything else is uncomfortable. 

I've learned that some things are just not worth it.  

Does this mean that we shouldn't push Brennan or Marshawn or whomever to try new things and grow?  Absolutely not! But above all - DO NO HARM.  I patently disagree with forcing people to do painful things.  That seems like an awesome definition of torture.

There are plenty of Seattle Seahawks the media can talk to.  Richard Sherman seems to relish an audience.  Russell Wilson seems to like to discuss football.  Is it worth the pain to Marshawn Lynch to hear him say "I"m here so I don't get fined." 21 times? ESPN obviously loves it.  It's a news story.  I don't know Marshawn Lynch so I don't know how he feels about it.  I'd guess the time he was at his station was painful and he'd rather play just football.  Why couldn't he write a statement, give it to reporters and move along?

As with most things in life it's about balance.  Give and take.  But guess what, balance doesn't get things done the exact way Person of Authority thinks it should be done.  And it doesn't get ratings or site hits or retweets or whatever.

Why

I'm a big believer in understanding why.  Actually, in finding your why.  Why do you do what you do? On my education blog I have written about finding your why.  My why is service.  I even have it tattooed on my wrist.

I'm reading A Confident Heart Devotional.  This morning's devotion was about Gideon asking God why.  I might add here that I was reading the devotion with B man's feet in my back.  He'd crawled in our bed at some time during the night was was sleeping sideways between Ryan and I.  His feet were in my back and his head in Ryan's.

When we started this autism journey I noticed a lot of literature, research and blogs about the why of autism.  Why did kids get autism? How did they get it?  I decided early on that I didn't care about the why or the how.  Those were things I couldn't do anything about. Those are things that would likely drive me mad if I dwelt on them.  The fact is he has autism.  What are we going to do now? is a better question.  How can we insure that Brennan will learn and grow and thrive? is another good one.  I'm not at all interested in curing B's autism. It makes him who he is and he is fabulous.  My job with Brennan is the same as my job with Sam and Zac.  How can I equip them to love the Lord and seek His will for their lives? Those are things I can control.

So, this morning Gideon asked God why.  And God didn't tell him.  God replied with Gideon's next action steps.

There is a tension inherent in asking why.  Lamenting why something has happened will drive you crazy.  You will question God (which he doesn't mind at all) and it may diminish your faith.  But knowing why you do something is powerful.  That kind of why helps direct your path and provides reassurance at times.

It's the action steps that matter.  Boldly going without knowing why you are going.  Trusting and believing that God is in control.  That's where the rubber meets the road.

Proud

I share a lot about B-man.  I try to share the funny stuff.  He's incredibly funny.  I sometimes share the hard stuff because people need to know that he's not all fun and games.  I try not to share things that will embarrass him, my other boys and or anyone else.  I'm learning a lot about that from Jess at Diary of a Mom.

At any rate, all this sharing has an it's intended consequence, people love B-man.  They are a little more aware of Autism.  But I must warn you, people are unique.  People with autism and people without autism.  There's a little saying "once you've meet one person with autism, you've met one person with autism."

I love our community.  I am privileged to be friends with a lovely group of women.  These women are raising the most wonderful group of kiddos.  They are all so sweet with B.  They are patient with him.  They give him whatever he wants.  This pains me some times.  I have been known to say "You don't have to give him your slinky.  He's fine."

It occurs to me that some of this comes with being the youngest in a large group of kids.  The oldest look out for the youngest.  But it's something a little bit different.  They don't seem so put out with him when he gets upset.  They protect him.  They look at me like I'm an idiot when I try to explain that B is different.  They don't seem to care.

B chillin' at the trampoline park

A couple of weekends ago we were at a local trampoline park.  This was perfect example of how these kiddos treat B.  They give him his space when he needs it. They teach him when they can.  I didn't get any photos of them in the dodgeball game.  But they showed him how to play and protect them the best they can.  And they indulge him.

Sam holding B up while one of Sam's friends
stays on his knees to let B dunk on him. 

I'm so proud of these kids.  I'm proud of my boys who show them how to treat B.  I'm proud to be a part of this community.  A community that is teaching kids that's it's ok to be different.