Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Ryan

On Monday Ryan and I celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary.  It seems hard to believe that we've been married that long.  Then I think about everything that has happened in those 18 years and I think it should be longer.

When we married I was the Director of Greek Life at the University of Texas at Dallas.  Ryan was a teacher and coach at Utley Middle School in Rockwall.  We both worked crazy hours but I loved it when we were home in a our small little apartment in Garland.  Gracious, that place was tiny!  I felt so grown up.  I was married, I had a good job. I shopped for groceries and fed my man. I was living the life.

Fast forward 18 years.  We have 3 awesome boys.  We have a beautiful home in a small town that we love.  Now I'm the teacher and Ryan is a salesman.  I still shop for groceries and feed my men.  I still love doing that. I always feel like I better momma and wife after a trip to Sam's Club.  My freezer and cabinets are full and ready to go.  But some how, I don't feel so grown up any more.

When we married I couldn't fathom doing something for 18 years in a row.  I thought by the time I've been married 18 years, I'll know everything about Ryan and life will be on autopilot.  The longer I live, the more I realize how little I know.  There are so many days that I feel like I'm 12 years old wondering what crazy person left me in charge of all this. I'm Elizabeth Shue in Adventures in Babysitting, in over my head.  Who decided that I knew how to raise a teenager, let alone 2? Who decided we could parent an autistic kid who already knows more than we do?

Then I pour this all out to Ryan and he says, "We got this." WE.  He and I.  We can do this.  We can't actually do it ourselves.  We rely on God for direction.  We rely on our families for support and advice.  But at the end of the day, God has trusted us with each other and these three young men.

He has always believed in me more than I believe in myself.  I'm writing this because of him, "Babe, I don't think you should give up on writing just yet." He leads me when I don't know where to go.  He supports just about every crazy idea I've ever had.  He rarely says "I told you so".  He's not perfect and neither am I. The difference is that we don't hold our weaknesses against each other.  We grow together.

I am so thankful for Ryan Bartis.  I'm glad we were both took Problems in Society in the summer of 1995.  I'm so glad Ana kept asking him questions to find out which KD Aimee what in his class.  I'm glad he said "I don't think we have to break up" when I announced I was going to graduate school at A&M and I'd see him later.  But most of all, I praise God every time he looks at me and says "We got this."




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