Freedom

I used to think rules were freeing.  Tell me what you want me to do, stand back and let me exceed your expectations. I operated this way for a majority of my life and things were just fine, thank you very much!

I realized the constraints of rules when I had to start making the rules.  It was a gradual realization, with the older boys, I was still pretty happy with the role of rules in my life.  Rules in my classroom were totally necessary.  Things began to change when I took some leadership roles.

Good gravy, people want to nitpick rules.  You have to get more and more specific.  I would drive myself crazy trying to think of all possible scenarios and make a rule for each scenario. And still people would nitpick.

An excellent example of this middle school girls and dress code.  Shorts have to be fingertip length long.  Fingertip length is determined by putting your hands down by your side.  I've seen girls shrug their shoulders up to their ears to make fingertip length shorter.  I've seen girls pull shorts way down on their hips to meet the length.

B-man also changed my view of rules.  He's so literal.  Last week at occupational therapy the secretary had a flower pot on her desk to hold pens.  The flower pot had smooth stones in the bottom.  B asked if he could have a stone. She said "Yes, if it's ok with your mom."  I told him the rock had to stay in his hand.  He looked up at me with big eyes "Forever?" "No not forever, just while you're inside this office.  You can't throw it."  "Can I throw it when I get outside?"  "No, not in the parking lot."  We proceeded to list all the places you can not throw a rock and where he could throw it.

Monday morning I read Galatians 5.  The chapter starts with a familiar verse "For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery."  The yoke of slavery Paul is referring to here is the Old Testament law.  Some Jewish people who had come to believe in Jesus wanted to cling to the Old Testament law and they wanted to hold the non-Jewish believers, Gentiles, to those same standards.  They wanted both Jesus and the law.  But Jesus had come to complete the law and give us freedom from it.  We are saved by grace, we don't have to keep a strict set of rules.

As I read on in Galatians 5, verses  13-15 really stood out.  Paul tells us here how to use our freedom.  Think back to the first time you took the car out without your parents.  What a sense of freedom that was!  All I was thinking about what myself.  I was NOT thinking about using my freedom to serve others.  In verse 14 Paul reiterates the point of Jesus' live, death and resurrection: the law is now fulfilled and we should love our neighbor as ourselves.

But it was verse 15 that really stood out to me and drove home the consequences of finding freedom in rules.  Rules cause us to nitpick and argue.  Paul is warning us here that we will be consumed by this behavior.  I'm not down for that! I don't want to be consumed by ugliness. I want to walk in freedom and love.  LORD, today, show me how.

Bulletproof

I woke up at midnight last night (when you go to bed at 9:30 that is the middle of the night) hungry for apples and peanut butter and singing a song.  "Give thanks with a grateful heart. Give thanks to the Holy One. Give thanks because He's given Jesus Christ, his Son."  As I ate my snack, I reflected on all the things I have to be thankful for.

• A God who loves me 
• A God who is accessible to me
• A husband who loves me and our boys 
• A husband who works hard
• My boys
• Their, sometimes, gentle spirit and tender hearts
• Their silly ways
• The rest of our family
• The ability to create and share my creations with others

I could go on and on.  I have so much to be thankful for! I was so grateful that God had woken me up to remind me of all my blessings.

Last night on Speechless (the best show I've seen in a looooonnnngggg time), the dad told the middle son that he was bulletproof.  He explained that after being told his first son was disabled and would not be able to do certain things, nothing else could phase him.  I loved that thought.

I am bulletproof because of Jesus Christ.  Because he sacrificed himself, willingly gave himself up for my sins, I am bulletproof.  I will have trials in this world, the Bible makes this clear, but nothing can touch me.  I am a child of God.

But the real question is...do I live like I'm bulletproof?  Do I live like I am thankful for everything God has give me?  The answer is sometimes.  Sometimes life gets me down and I flounder around not knowing what to do.  Other times when my heart breaks, I run straight to God and pour it out to Him and accept his grace and healing.

Today I will remember that I am bulletproof. Today I will be thankful to the One who made me bulletproof.

Let It Be

Before I get started let me just say that I hope you each have a friend as great as my sister in law.  She's so freaking awesome!  We've put in the work to get to where we are but it's been so worth it.  We are pretty different.  She's blonde, I'm brunette.  Just kidding...but we are pretty different.  I'm a total geek and she's totally cool.  She's very beautiful and fashionable.  I'm cute and like to wear jeans and funny t-shirts.  Our kids are stair stepped. The oldest boys are 6 weeks apart, the middle boys are 3 weeks apart and the youngest are a year apart.  I was 'done' having babies until I held my sweet niece.  A year later, I'm the mother of three boys.

We work through most of life's junk together.  We are honest with each other.  We can say, "No don't do that." and "Yes, you are right on"  If you don't have a friend like this, I totally recommend putting in the work to develop one.  It takes work.  We've hurt each other's feelings.  We've apologized.  We love each other.  We get each other.

Yesterday we were working through some junk.  Basically, I was making sure I wasn't crazy.  This is an everyday occurrence as I am sure I'm two steps away from crazy at any given minute.

I came to this realization...people need to live and let live.  Seriously, can you image what would happen if we stayed out of other people's business?  The drama in this life would go down to almost nil. I think you'd still have some because you're always going to have miscommunications.  But even those would be between the two people involved.  Everyone else would stay out of it.

Could you imagine?  People only worrying about themselves?  What could we accomplish with all the time we've freed up?  Cure cancer? In all seriousness, life would be so much easier.  For my part, I'd be less stressed.  I probably feel less crazy.

During my conversation with my sister in law, I also came up with this handy definition of friendship: Listen to my stories, laugh where appropriate, don't judge me and only offer advice when asked.  

And I promise I'll try to do the same.  And I promise I'll tell you when I'm hurt and forgive you when you hurt me.  And then we're good.

Why is this so hard for people?  I have no idea.  What I do know is this: I have a great friend in my sister in law.  I am so thankful for her.

He Works All Things Together...

The last few weeks have not been awesome. I haven't felt well.  My allergies are out of control.  Things at work have been hectic but I generally like it that way.  Something shifted over the past few weeks and hectic was making me grumpy instead of satisfied that I was helping people.

All this came to a head Thursday.  After a crazy busy day, I left work crying.  An unfounded comment had flattened me.  Ryan picked me up and we drove an hour to Zac's football game.  I have a told you how much I love that man?As we drove down highways and through the countryside, I poured out my heart to him.  He's a good listener.  He's also a good fixer but he didn't fix right away.  He listened first.  What a gift he is!

After he let me cry myself out and take a few minutes to rest, he offered me a break.  B had been invited to a birthday party Friday night. Ryan would take him to the party and I could stay home, rest and get somethings done.

It turned out to be a great night.  Since our high school football team had an off week, both big boys were home. We ordered pizza.  Sam drove me to the store to get some drinks.  We ate pizza and watched a movie.

During the movie, I worked on my curriculum boxes for Valuable.  I even ran to the store in the middle of the movie to get supplies for the upcoming month.  But I got back in time for the last powerful scene.

I loved the chance to stay home, get things done and spend time with the big boys.  Ryan loved taking B to the party.  It was a win - win.  But I don't think we would have gotten there if I hadn't been upset.  Isn't it cool how God uses everything for our benefit?  My rough patch at work led to Ryan giving me a chance to take care of myself.

I am constantly amazed at God's power to work all things together for my good.  This is truly amazing grace!