Teachers Write!

I did it! I signed up for a 10 week summer online writing clinic called Teachers Write.  It's hosted by the awesome author Kate Messner. You can ready about it here.

I'm really excited.  Several years ago, I started a middle grade novel and was going strong on it.  I loved my main character.  But then, life happened.  It sounds tacky to say that Brennan was a major obstacle to my writing.  It wasn't him so much as the situation.  I was pretty used up handling his care, therapy and such.  He has made such progress and I'm feeling more myself lately.  I'm ready to get back in the saddle.

But it'd be a lie to say it was all the B-situation.  A big part of it was fear.  And perfectionism.  But mostly fear.  I'm not so great at trying things that I'm not sure I'll be good at.  And I have a big fear of making a mistake.  Which is in contrast to my need to be goofy 18 of the 24 hours in the day.  I'm a riddle wrapped in an enigma. 

Alright, so let's do this!  I'm gonna write! Even if I suck!
I am committing to write 15 minutes each night before bed.  I'm going to read the posts each morning, stew on them through out the day, then write at night.

Encouragement welcome!

photo credit: Olivander via photo pin cc

An Open Letter to Nick Jr.

Dear Nick Jr,

Oh how I love you, Nick Jr.  Your commercial free programming has a special place in my heart.  You schedule the annoying shows at non-peak times.  It seems like you really get it.  And I love you for it.

Until last Wednesday morning.

Let me back up a bit.  I have a fun, quirky 3 year old monkey named Brennan.  He loves letters and numbers.  He loves school but does not love getting there.  Actually, he's not very good at transitioning in general.  That's where you came in, Nick Jr.

Team Umizoomi is B's favorite show.  It was perfect that Umizoomi was on when it's time for B to get out of bed.  It was a great incentive to help him get up and moving.  His second favorite show, Bubble Guppies was up next.  Both shows follow a pattern or formula for each episode.  The same thing happens in a different way everyday. This is so helpful for a non-transitioner like B.  Get dressed after Umizoomi, brush teeth after Bubble Guppies go to lunch.  It was perfect.  Mornings went from a screaming disaster to a well oiled machine.  No muss - no fuss.

Until last Wednesday morning.

For some odd reason, you decided to replace Team Umizoomi with Go, Diego, Go right in the middle of the week.  Yikes! What a nightmare!

I do still love you, Nick Jr.  But if you want to be "Preschool on TV", you have to think about how change messes with some kiddos.  Especially so close to the end of the school year.  Could we have kept our routine until school gets out at the end of May?  Is that too much to ask?  Four more weeks of trouble free mornings?

Sincerely,
aimee

PS - Please don't get all "TV rots your brain" in the comments.  I do let B watch Nick Jr., he's engaged with it.  He's answering the questions.  He's crazy shaking.  It's OK for him (in moderation).   I let my older boys watch Blues Clues et. al and they are normal 8 and 11 year olds with no apparent brain rot. You do what your kiddo needs, I'll do what my kiddo needs.

K? K. Awesome!  Let's love and support one another!

Enough

Did you know that you are enough?  You are fearfully and wonderfully made.  Don't believe me? Read it for yourself: Psalm 139:14

I'm always trying to improve myself.  Lose a few pounds here, learn a new skill there.  I think it's important to strive for excellence. God hasn't called us to mediocracy, he's called us to greatness.  But we have to remember why we strive.

I press on toward the goal from the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:14

We don't strive to bring ourselves glory. We strive so that we may bring HIM glory. I have to remind myself of that from time to time.  God blesses us so we can bless others. Not so we can become rich and famous and important. 

Back to being enough, you are enough. We have an ultra-competitive world.  And sometimes things that are supposed to be fun feed into this competitiveness.  That's why I loved this blog post (go read it but come back, k?)

http://powerofmoms.com/2012/04/your-children-want-you/

I read this the day that I went with B's pre-k class to the zoo.  About a 100 times that day, he hugged me and said "I'm so glad you're here."  I hadn't thought about how little one-on-one time he gets with me (outside a doctor's office that is).  We had a great day at the zoo. Here we are:

                      

Here's the whole family before Easter service

Brave

Pixar's Brave movie poster

Hey! Did y'all know that I was brave.  Once or twice, at least.  Not bungee jumping or skydiving brave.  Ordinary brave.  I moved away to college.  I moved back.  I got a tattoo.  I gave birth to 3 boys.  I started writing a book.  I teach middle school.  See?  Brave, right?

Then last week, I realized I hadn't been brave in a while.  My awesome sister in law took my older boys, her own three kids and two other friends to a water park.  I saw all those kiddos loaded in her car and thought, "Man, she is brave."  She's brave A LOT.  She's run a marathon, that's how brave she is.

So, I started thinking...What's stopping me from being brave?  I did a lot of self reflection and discovered why I had stopped.  Having your world turned upside down by a job loss and a 'special' kiddo will do that to you. I functioned effectively but I did all the safe things.  I worried a lot about belonging.  Did so and so like me? Am I wearing the right thing?  Seriously, my self doubt was at an all time high.  I don't remember feeling this self conscious in middle OR high school.

Last Thursday, I did something brave. Something I've been wanting to do to for over a year.  Something I thought I would get ridiculed for.  I got a blue streak in my hair.  And you know what? I love it.  And other people loved it.  I realized that when I am myself, I brave. Here's a not so glorious picture.  How brave is that?  To post a maybe not so flattering pic ;)

In the midst of doing something else brave yesterday (taking a 2 year old who had not napped and 2 7 year olds to the community pool), I got to spend time with my fabulous sister in law again.  We talked about belonging and she offered this sage advice: "I belong to the ones who like me.  Be nice to everyone but then don't worry about them."

So, in addition to my year long quest to be goofier, I'm now being more brave by being myself.  Wearing what I want to wear.  Doing the things I want to do.  What makes you brave?