First, I have to acknowledge that 95% of my frustration was exhaustion based. The first two weeks of school wore me down. Friday night we traveled 2 hours to watch our high school's Varsity Football game. We got home around 12:30 then stayed up until 2 sorting pee wee football uniforms. Ryan is the director of our pee wee football league and they had their first games Saturday. And the games were at our stadium. Ryan and the boys were up at 6 am Saturday morning to go set up and work the games. I kinda got off easy but still, I was worn out.
OK, that's out of the way...
Earlier in the week, B had promised Ryan that he would dress out for football and stand on the sidelines with his team. I was tasked with trying to make this happen.
At first, B liked the football pants. He said they were soft. But the jersey was too tight. Then he decided that the pants were too tight too. "I can't even get a fart out!" So, I bagged up the uniform, put B in shorts and headed to the game.
Not a picture from Saturday but his face sums it up |
At the stadium, B greeted his team mates and his daddy. He announced that he wanted to work the concession stand. Okie dokey. Off he went.
I found some friends and took a seat in the stands. B decided he'd had enough of the concession stand and joined us. He had packed a bag of things to do (after his game) and he started taking things out. He asked me for his polymer clay. I reminded him that he packed that bag, not me. He lost it. I felt like I might lose it. We left.
Once home, I sent my momma and sister in law text messages to bring them up to speed. Then I proceeded to start bawling.
Here's the thing, with the older boys we always said "You don't have to sign up but if you sign up you have to finish." That saxophone that seemed so cool at band night but now is not, you have to stick with it. You have to keep practicing even though it sounds like cats dying a slow death. You can quit in May when school is over. You don't have to be in band next year but you have to finish this year out. We haven't done that with B, obviously. We've learned, the hard way, that when B tells us he can't 'take' something, he's usually right.
Case in point, 2 years ago at Universal Studios he told us he couldn't do the Simpson's ride. We had never been on the ride, or even to the park, and did not know what to expect. We thought it would be ok so we prodded and cajoled B into the ride. Good gracious, what a mistake! I wouldn't spoil the ride for you but it's not kid friendly. They almost stopped the ride because B wouldn't sit up. He kept putting his head in my lap. "Front row, you must sit up." "Again, front row you have to sit up or we will have to stop the ride." By the end I was sitting up on one hip, pushing B up to make him appear to be sitting up. Which would have been alright except for the two cute teenage girls also in our car. The Bigs were so embarrassed. And we learned to listen.
I'm such a suck-it-up-stick-it-out parent. This is not to say that we let the boys sink or swim with no guidance. We talk them through hard situations but the key word is THROUGH. They have to stick it out until the end. I'm not sure how to parent at the opposite end of that spectrum.
How do I teach B to keep his word, uphold his commitments while also listening to him and honoring what he knows about himself? I have no idea.
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