19

October 17, 1998

19 years ago today

Good gravy, 19 years is a long time but also it's been the blink of an eye.  Or maybe it hasn't.  I'm hard pressed to remember a time without Ryan Bartis. We dated for 3 years so we're actually 21 years into this adventure. 

This adventure.  This man.  This life.  What a blessing!

I'm trying to think of all the things we've learned these 19 years.  What pearls of wisdom could I offer you today?  Or maybe the pearls of wisdom should wait for next year.  For 20. 

Here's what I will tell you about Ryan Bartis.  He's my lobster.  He's who I want to call first.  I frame all my stories for him, "How will I tell Ryan this?"  He's responsible for my stories..."I don't think you should give up on writing just yet."  What a gift!

If you know Ryan you know he's a quiet guy.  Don't let that fool you.  He's quiet but he is fierce.  He's a fierce competitor and fiercely loyal.  And don't even think about crossing me or the boys, he will cut you! 

We totally thought we knew what we were doing when we got married.  We both knew what we would be when we grew up.  We had a plan.  So did God.  And, as usual, God's plan is so much better than ours.  There were moments that we couldn't see that goodness.  There have been dark times.  Face down in the carpet crying in the closet dark. 

We had a particularly rough patch at the beginning of our marriage, less than a year in.  I thought we wouldn't make it but we did.  And that's the last time I thought we'd divorce.  It just has never occurred to me that I wouldn't be married to Ryan Bartis.  I knew that whatever bad stuff was happening that something better was coming, and that no matter what, we could tackle it together. 

Maybe that's the pearl of wisdom - the lesson learned from 19 years - we're in this together.  We're better together.