Wednesday, March 8, 2017

B's Concerns

Are you a worrier?  I'd say I'm a recovering worrier.   I try really hard not to worry.  I understand that when I am worrying, I'm not trusting God.  But sometimes it sneaks in.

Our boy B is another story.  Here's a $5 word for you today - perseverate.

Perseverating is what it's called when autistic kiddos (or adults) fix on one thing for a long time.  The word obsession comes to mind.  

B perservates on his worries.  

Lately, he's been very worried about wasps.  He saw a wasp on the bus and it has consumed him.  He's begged me not to make him ride the bus.  His time on the bus is actually very minimal.  I take him to before school care and he has to ride the bus to from there to his school.  Then in the afternoon he rides from his school to my school.  He probably spends less that 10 minutes a day on the school bus.  

And yet, it consumes him.  Last week he laid in bed crying "don't make me ride the bus!"  We have plans upon plans for what to do in the event of a wasp on the bus.  

A few mornings ago on the way to school B randomly says, "Momma will you ever leave me alone?"  There are a lot of ways to understand this question so I ask "What do you mean?  Like will I leave you home alone?  I might when you're older. What do you mean?"
"I mean will you ever take me in the woods and leave me there?"


I can not tell you the last time I was in the actual woods.  And I can not recall being in the woods with B-man.  And yet, here we are...worrying about being left alone in the woods.  He's not able to tell me, yet, where this worry is coming from but I suspect he's watched a video about being in the woods.  

At any rate, in these moments it's my job to reassure him.  Let him know he's safe, do my best to make sure he feels safe.  If he's able, we'll talk about a plan but the most important thing is that he feels safe.  

Then I turn my worries about B's worries to God.  It keeps me sane.  I mean, we both can't be wracked with worry.  One of us has to be calm.  

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