Wednesday, November 9, 2016


How often do you rest?  I don't mean how often do you sleep. I hope you are able to sleep every night.  If you're still in the up at night phase of momma-hood, hang tight sweet girl.  Your day will come.  Personally, I never thought Bman would sleep through the night.  I'd say we're up to to five nights a week that he's sleeping straight through.  The other two nights he's learned to crawl in with us and not wake either of us up.

I mean really rest.

For me the hardest part of rest is ceasing movement. I am almost always moving.  If I stop moving, I fall asleep.  Really the closest I come is when I settle in to read.  There are just not that many nights that I am sitting in front of the TV vegging out. 

This is not one of those "oh look how busy I am, aren't I great?" things.  I'm bothered by the fact that I don't sit still often.  I'm even more bothered by my internal monologue when I am sitting still.  It goes something like this...

"What am I forgetting to do?"
"Maybe I should start on XYZ?"
"There are dishes in the sink. I need to get those done before momma comes over tomorrow so she wouldn't feel like she needs to do them"

It's like I wouldn't let myself rest without guilt.  And that's not ok.  I'm tired. I need to rest. 

I have always loved the promise in Matthew 11:28-30.  I have a silver yoke necklace to remind me of this verse.  A yoke was used to bind two animals together so they could plow.  I love the idea of taking on the LORD's yoke, being bound to Jesus in all that I do.  But I've only recently started thinking about taking off my yoke to take on Jesus'.  In order to take on Jesus' yoke, I have to take mine off. And there it is again, my desire to control everything.  If I give my problems to God, what will I have left to try to control?  Nothing! That's the point.  God is in control.  He's good at being God, I am not. When I take on Jesus' yoke, I can rest.    

Working on it...

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