I mean really rest.
For me the hardest part of rest is ceasing movement. I am almost always moving. If I stop moving, I fall asleep. Really the closest I come is when I settle in to read. There are just not that many nights that I am sitting in front of the TV vegging out.
This is not one of those "oh look how busy I am, aren't I great?" things. I'm bothered by the fact that I don't sit still often. I'm even more bothered by my internal monologue when I am sitting still. It goes something like this...
"What am I forgetting to do?"
"Maybe I should start on XYZ?"
"There are dishes in the sink. I need to get those done before momma comes over tomorrow so she wouldn't feel like she needs to do them"
It's like I wouldn't let myself rest without guilt. And that's not ok. I'm tired. I need to rest.
I have always loved the promise in Matthew 11:28-30. I have a silver yoke necklace to remind me of this verse. A yoke was used to bind two animals together so they could plow. I love the idea of taking on the LORD's yoke, being bound to Jesus in all that I do. But I've only recently started thinking about taking off my yoke to take on Jesus'. In order to take on Jesus' yoke, I have to take mine off. And there it is again, my desire to control everything. If I give my problems to God, what will I have left to try to control? Nothing! That's the point. God is in control. He's good at being God, I am not. When I take on Jesus' yoke, I can rest.
Working on it...
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