Tuesday, November 29, 2016

The First

Yesterday marked 16 years ago that I first became a momma.  It was exciting, scary and something I'm still not sure I'm ready for.  GOD gave us Sambo, made me a momma and it has changed my life for the better.

Sam was born about 10 months after my daddy died.  It was such a hard time.  As soon as my daddy was diagnosed with cancer, Ryan and I decided to try to have a baby.  The doctors had given my daddy 2 years and I wanted to give him another grandbaby. It didn't work out.  My daddy was gone within 6 months and Sambo arrived 14 months after the initial diagnoses.  It breaks my heart that my boys didn't get to know my daddy but I see him in them all the time.

Every night for the last 3 months that I was pregnant with Sam, I had the same dream.  My daddy was standing on my front porch holding a red headed baby boy.  I'd walk up the steps and daddy would say, "It's about time." hand me the baby and disappear.  I just knew this boy would have red hair like his Pa.  Imagine my surprise when he arrived with dark hair!

I do see my daddy in all three of my boys.  But most especially Sam.  He's a gentle giant like his namesake.  I feel my daddy every time I hug Sam.  I still can't get over how tall he is.  And he's still growing!

I'll be honest, it's not always easy to parent Sam.  He doesn't misbehave regularly.  He's not disrespectful.  But he's quiet.  He holds things inside.  He's hard on himself. He's our guinea pig.  Ryan and I are always figuring things out on him.  But, it's always a joy to parent him.  I learn more about love every day.  I'm so thankful to be his momma.

I can't believe that in 3 1/2 short years he'll be off to college.  I'm already crying.  I told my sister in law the other night that he has to play football where ever he goes to college so I have an excuse to go see him every weekend.  In the meantime, I'm trying to soak up every minute he's here.

I am so proud of the man Sam is growing into.  He's kind.  He's loving.  He's determined. He sets goals for himself and works hard to achieve those goals.  I can't wait to see what GOD has in store for him!

No comments :