Rewarding or Bribing

Last week I needed to work in the library each morning.  There is so much to do that I could have worked all day in the library but I had tons to do in other areas too.  The older boys have workout in the mornings so I needed to take B with me.  About an  hour would be easy peasy for B but 3- 4 hours would be a struggle.

A couple of weeks ago, B asked me for a new video game.  Thankfully, it was a cheaper one.  Most of them are $40-50. This one was 'only' $20.  But still I didn't want to just go buy it because he wanted it right then.  I usually try to delay him because he goes from thing to thing quickly.  But if he stays on something, I'll usually find a way.  I ignore lots of first requests.  He also wasn't too keen on earning the money working around the house.

When I worked in Mesquite ISD, I was training on a system called Love and Logic.  It's an awesome system for discipline management.  The hallmark of the system is giving kids choices.  Another is that if you offer something before bad behavior it's a reward.  If you offer something to get bad behavior to stop, it's a bribe.

B balked at the idea of going to work last week, I decided to have him 'earn' his video game by not complaining about going to work with me.  I knew I couldn't pay someone to watch him for $20 so I figured it was a bargain.

B doesn't wear many shirts in the summer

B did struggle at times last week.  But he would take a breath and remind himself of his goal.  Every day he asked me how many days he had left.  On the last day he asked me when we would go to the store.  He was super excited to get his new game.  He felt proud that he had earned it!

And I didn't feel like I had to bribe him!