Thursday, October 11, 2018

The Bubble

Several weeks ago I laid in bed worrying about a multitude of insignificant things that seemed monumental at the time. Now I don't even remember exactly what what keeping me up.  What I do remember is the sense of a bubble growing around me - the worry bubble.

The worry bubble is all consuming. It closes you in from every side.   It surrounds you.  Everything you see or hear or touch is filtered through the bubble.  It's all you can see.  A permanent Instagram filter.  The bubble is suffocating.  The bubble puts distance between you and everything and everyone else.

A worry wart - what an ugly but appropriate saying.  Worrying is ugly.  Picture someone worrying.  Are they smiling?  No, usually worriers are knitting their brows together, frowning.  You don't want to sit down beside a worry wart and strike up a conversation.  I picture Debbie Downer. No one likes Debbie Downer, not even Debbie (except in this Debbie Downer skit where everyone cracks up - it's one of my favorites).

I used to be a world champion worry wart.  Two things remedied this.  B-man and a revelation. 

First B-man - there were literally not enough hours in the day to worry about everything to do with B.  Before he could speak, he got pneumonia 3 times.  All three times one day he had a runny nose and cough and the next he spiked a high fever and had pneumonia. The first time he had it the doctor was working to keep him out of the hospital and I wanted him in the hospital.  I was so worried I was going to do something to make him worse.  After a few years of this, I just couldn't do it anymore.  I was exhausted.

Second a revelation - around this same time I learned, I think from Beth Moore, that worrying is a sin. Worrying is a manifestation of not trusting God. When I worry, I'm telling God that I don't trust Him to take care of me. 

And's not that easy. The bubble still comes at night.  So what to do? 

1. I pray.  I thank God for everything He's done for me.  I recall a time He's taken care of me and I thank Him for it.  I visualize physically giving God whatever I'm worrying about. 

2. I worship.  Our brains are definitely like computers in the sense that Garbage In = Garbage Out.  Whatever we put in will come out.  I try to listen to worship music everyday so when I need to access it in my head, it's there.  I can 'play' the music in my head because I've heard it enough. 

3. I remember.  Along the same lines as worship, I try to memorize scripture so I can recall them when I need them.

What do you do?  How to you burst the worry bubble?

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