Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Overcoming the Crab Mentality

Everyday I listen to a podcast called Increase Your Impact with Justin Su'a  everyday.  It's short and sweet and very helpful.  Monday's podcast was so powerful. It's called The Crab Mentality. It's well worth your 3 minutes to listen. 

Get this image in your head: a bucket of crabs.  One crab could get out of the bucket but they can't because the other crabs are pulling it down. The crab mentality is the idea that people don't want you to succeed, they want to pull you down. 

If you've experienced this you know how awful it is.  You're all excited.  You're going places.  You're doing things you've always wanted to do.  Then someone sabotages your project. Or someone you trust turns their back on you. Or starts a rumor at your expense.  You're that one crab trying to get out and people are pulling you down.  What do you do?

First off, I'd say take a little bit of time to grieve.  Grieve the loss of the friendship. Grieve the failure of your project.  Grieve the end of the dream or your plan.  But don't take too long.  If you take to long, you'll risk wallowing and giving into self pity. 

Second, make a plan to move forward. How will you save the project?  What will you do next?  How will you handle your relationship with the person who hurt you?

Then get to work!

There is one more thing you need to do. You need to decide that you wouldn't be a crab to another person.  There's a saying "Hurt people hurt people".  If you don't do the work to repair your heart and mind, you're going to hurt others.  You're going to feel like it's ok because it's been done to you. 

But you're better than that.  You don't have to pull someone down to feel better about yourself. You can be an uplifter.  Make up your mind that you're not ever going to make someone feel the way you've felt.  Then find someone to pour into.  Do something to help someone else everyday.  It could be something small like holding the door or it could be something big like helping someone become better at their jobs.  Just do something! Be the good!

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