Parenting

Parenting is hard.  Like, really really hard.  And it's touchy subject.  You can make an enemy quick - just tell them they aren't parenting correctly.  

That's not my aim today, it's really not.  I want to talk about the two role parents need to play in their kids lives.  One of them we're all (mostly) really good at, the other not so much.

Cheerleader

This is the one we're awesome at!  We all love our kiddos. We think they are great.  Remember when your kiddo was little? Could you take your eyes off them? They were the most beautiful, the cutest, just the absolute bestest. 

Social media is full of cheerleader parents. We all want to show off the awesome things our kids are doing.  Rightfully so! You've pour a lot of blood, sweat and tears into that kid - show him or her off! 

Guide

Parents also need to guide their kiddos. This one is harder.  It means showing them the way but not doing it for them.  It requires leading.  Guiding also requires a critical eye.  

Here's the fact: EVERY kid screws up, even yours, even mine. Being a good guide mean that you're one the lookout for what your kid is going to screw up and you walk them through it. You try to help them avoid the trouble but you know it's going to happen. 

Once you accept the fact that your little precious one is capable of making the wrong choices, you become more equipped to help them recover.  If you stick your head in the sand and think that your precious little one can do no wrong, you're doing him or her a disservice. You wouldn't be equipped to help them recovered from their missteps. You aren't able to see down the road and help prepare them for the pitfalls to come. 

When the Bigs were little, I stumbled upon a question that changed everything. "What happened right before that?"  One would come to tattle on the other for hitting and I'd ask "What happened right before that?".  The tattler would fess up "I threw my shoe at him" Case dismissed, you got what you deserved.  Asking that question requires that I understand that neither of the Bigs is perfect. They are both capable of doing something wrong. 

You'll notice that I named this one guide and not critic.  You need a critical eye but you do not have to be overly critical of your kids.  Be honest with them.  Call them out. Keep high expectation.  That doesn't mean you have to be harsh and nitpicky with them. This will destroy your relationship with your kid. 

I'm not saying that Ryan and I are perfect parents. We mess up ALL THE TIME.  I'm just saying that we TRY to balance these two roles.  So, what do you think? What's your secret to parenting?