Tuesday, September 26, 2017


Hello friends.  I'm sorry I didn't write last week.  It was a rough week. I didn't form many coherent thoughts.  I'm not sure these thoughts will be that coherent.

Ryan's daddy passed away a week ago Friday.  It wasn't a surprise but it was a shock.  He'd been sick a while and we knew his body was beginning to shut down.  But more than that, we knew he was tired.

A few years back, Pops fell and broke his hip.  He got a little down in the dumps at rehab.  I went to him and told him he had to fight for my boys.  He's the only grand daddy my boys have known.  I told him he needed to fight to get better so they had a grand daddy.

Oh, how he fought.  But every fight has to end.  And Pop's fight is over.  He's restored. He's healed. He's at rest.

It's the rest of us suffering.  I wouldn't sugar coat it.  This has been so hard.  It was hard when my daddy died but I didn't have to look into 3 precious faces and tell them he was gone.  I could focus on myself.  With Pops gone, I needed to be able to focus on all of us, not just myself.

I'm a do-er.  There is just almost nothing to do in this situation. I can't do anything to relieve the pain we are all in.  I'm so helpless.

All I can do is love my people - Ryan, the boys, my mother in law, my sisters and brothers in law, my nieces and nephews.  I can accept the love and help of others.  And we have had that in abundance.  Our friends showed up to love us.  They fed us well. They checked on us.  They hugged.  They sent funny memes.  I love my people.

Pops loved his people.  He was the perfect picture of the protective daddy.  Instead of a traditional funeral, we did a true celebration of Pops.  My nieces led worship.  We all spoke about Pops.  It was both easy and hard.  There were so many stories to tell but it hurt to think of Pops in the past tense.  But he's not.  He's gone, he's resting but he's always with us - in the funny stories and lessons we learned from him, and continue to learn.

One of my best friends summed it up beautifully in this facebook post.

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