Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Present

Yesterday I wrote about my father in law's passing and I shared a status from one of my best friends about being present.  A theme of my father in law's celebration was that he worked hard to be present.  He'd go to work early, leave in time to make the kids' games then work well into the night to make up for the missed time.  But when he was with his kids he was really with his kids.

I'm also listening to Present over Perfect by Shauna Niequest.  I have some thoughts about the book that I'll share when I finish it.  But my point is that being present keeps coming up.

I struggled with this some last fall.  For the first time in 17 years I felt guilty about working last year.  I felt like I wasn't present enough for the boys.  I was running myself raged doing stuff for them but not spending time with them.

My mind is noisy all the time.  Ideas. Stories. Songs. To do lists.  All these things are bouncing around in there all the time. I'm a list maker.  I find ridiculous pleasure in marking things off a list.  All these things make it difficult to be present.  To really focus on what's happening right now and not thinking about the rest of the things on the list or what I need to do next.

This week I've tried hard to be present with the Lord. I get up, get my coffee and just sit and talk to him.  No Bible reading. No writing.  Just prayer.  It's soooo hard.  My mind drifts to my list.  My eyes flutter shut.  My hand reaches for my phone.  But I'm going to keep trying.

Thanks Kaycey for posting this! 

1 comment :

Paul R. Wood said...

Amy,

You are correct, being fully present is difficult. One of the things we discuss in formation of Deacons for the Catholic Church is that they will be continually asked to talk with someone and it is important that they, their minds, as well as their body language, convey that they are truly present AND listening to the other person.

Thank you for being present to us and calling us to be better people all the time.

Paul