Scarcity

I'm kinda flaky on the nature vs nurture debate.  I think some things are just a part of your nature - although I really can't think of one right now.  So, maybe I fall on the nurture side of the debate...

Anyway, I got to thinking about this because I was thinking about my relationship to food.  Maybe I should back up a couple of steps.

I changed my eating habits in October and lost some weight.  Then the holidays happened. Then Spring sports happened.  I haven't put it all back on but I have put on some plus I never got down to my goal weight.

consequently, this is a picture of lots of my favorite candies
flavored tootsie rolls and reese's peanut butter cups

Week before last I was back on track and feeling great.

Then last week was teacher appreciate week.  My district feeds us very well during teacher appreciate week.  I ate every chance I got.  And way more than usual. Not to mention things I don't normally eat.  I ate 2 mini bundt cakes last week.  And a bunch of left over s'mores mix.  Stuff I wasn't actually hungry for.

Here's the nurture part...

My brother is a big dude, like my daddy.  My brother is ten years older than me so I basically remember growing up with high school him, football player him, needing to eat everything in sight because he was starving him.  I remember dinner time.  Everyone made their plates first, then Randy.  If you thought there was any way you might want to eat anything, you better put it on your plate.  Because chances were that Randy was going to finish off whatever was left.  If you didn't take it the first time, it probably would not be there.

Fast forward to living with 4 boys.  Same story.  Food does not last.  If there's a cookie left, you might want to eat it because it wouldn't be there later.  I find myself eating things that I don't necessarily want right now because I might want it at some point in the future and I fear it wouldn't be available then. 

I thought a lot about this over the weekend.  I resolved to get back on track this week.  It's state testing week so step one was to not order the special restaurant lunches our awesome office ladies set up.  Check.  Step two was to not shop for a bunch of crappy snacks to eat while I give the test.  Check - I made sure I had protein shakes and bars.  I was on a roll! Then I walked into the teacher's lounge today and saw a sour gummy life saver.  I really like those and you don't see them often.  So I ate it.  It was literally 3 hours later that I thought about it.  I wasn't hungry for it. I ate because it might not be there later.  Old habits die hard.